Saturn Return

Hello Loves!

                I want to thank you all again for reading my blog.  I can’t wait to hear what you have to say in the comments below!

Today, I am going to discuss “A new year”.  I don’t really consider the New Year, to be MY personal New Year.  That begins on my birthday, which is in about a week and a half.  I am actually nervous and excited about this year because it is the Return of the Saturn for me. 

The what?!  This lady is a whack job!!

Just remember, I did warn you!  I am a spiritual person, not a religious one.  I respect your beliefs and I hope that you will to.  There may be another 28 year old reader out there and this might just hit the nail on the head for her, or him.  In some ways you might connect to it as well.  I want to document what I am experiencing, therefor I can learn from it and hopefully show others out there that they are not going through their life alone.  There are other people out there that experience what we all experience.  Anyways, back to the topic at hand.

The Saturn Return Is when Saturn makes an appearance that meets your natal Saturn.  It usually happens in the late twenties.  A friend of mine is actually who made me aware of this, and I find it so exciting and extremely scary because I am at the point of my life where I have a lot of different roads in my life that I could take, and part of these decisions will affect me clear into my early thirties (aghhhh!).  Having my past 10 years come back to haunt me is scary.  Eeek! (Yes, I just squealed a little). 

So in a sense this is the time for me to “Grow Up”.  It’s my wake up call, and with my birthday growing closer and closer, I can feel the effects of it.  We all make life choices before we know who we really are.  I am always tell people entering in their 20’s that they need these ten years to be selfish, live life, and figure out who they are as a person before deciding to get married and have kids.  It’s the time for them to make mistakes! I love my family, but sometimes I think that things would have turned out differently if I wasn’t in such a rush to be a mom, or a wife. 

Apparently, some of these early life choices of mine well be revealed to be out of whack with what I am truly meant to be and do in my life.  My true destiny (I feel silly saying that).  I have always had big dreams.  I wanted a great, fun career that I could travel and make a lot of money.  I wanted the fairy tale marriage, a boy and a girl, a gorgeous house with a beautiful yard.  As time has come and gone, some of those wants have been accomplished, and others have just been put to the side because I didn’t feel ready, or because of life just getting in the way.  That is completely acceptable.  The only problem is, is that I have never strived for a goal.  I have always started something, hit a rough patch, or just ran out of time, got bored, and then ended up dropping it.  That’s not who I want to be anymore.  I am getting old in a sense.  I am going to be 28 years old on the 30^th, and I feel more lost and depressed then I ever have in my entire life. 

So, my New Year resolution is to come face to face with my fears and my goals.  I want to be able to understand myself more, and I know that re-acquainting myself with myself will be a challenge, but I also know that once I gain a sense of me, then I will be able to shake off what’s not me, and feel better about what is supposed to be.